Dear Diary 2012

:(

2011-12-01T13:29:00.000-08:00

I should have gone to the library like I planned and called home to see if my mom was home. When I got back home my mom, who came home ealry, wouldn't have smelled the smoke from the sigarette I smoked. That way my coat would have had a chance to air out. A better idea would have been for ne to have just waited till she got home before leaving, or not gone anywhere.

By the way my mom reacted, I really hoped that finally would be thrown out of the house. She even told me to go to the welfare office to find out where the nearest shelter was. I was just about to leave when she called dad at work to tell him what happened. I should have just left and not bothered to come back. I don't want to think about what will happen once my dad gets home.

I should have just stayed home, or continued on my way to the library, and avoided this whole mess. The funny thing is that this isn't the first time a similar thing happened. For the past couple of years my parents told me that they're ready to throw me out the next time I fuck up. Yet I'm still here.

Where is the love?

2011-09-30T12:10:00.000-07:00

It looks like I'll spend the rest of my life alone. It's been 3 years since any guy asked if I was single. The first time was back in 2007 just 2 days before Valentine's Day and the second time was New Year's Day 2008. The only reason I said no both times was because each guy used the same line that I heard on a talk show. Since then no other guy made an appemt to ask me out.

Now I wish that I had said yes to one of them. I can't help thinking how different things would be now if I did that.

Need to lose weight

2011-09-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

I'll have to postpone going to the beer store till tomorrow. That way my parents will be gone for the weekend and won't know. With one of my parents deciding to stay home today, I just hope that they don't find the 13 empty bottles hidden under my bed. Tomorrow morning I'll check the places I've had luck finding empty cans and bottles before heding to the beer store.

In the meantime I'm going to do my best to eat little to nothing at till my parents get back. My goal is to get my weight down to 145 lbs or less by then. With three and a half months to go till the end of the year, I have to do my best to get as close to 100 lbs as I possibly can. The qucker I lose the weight the sooner my parents will stop bitching about how fat I am.

Finding money

2011-09-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

It seems like every time I go out I manage to find empty beer cans and bottles. On a rare occasion I find an empty liquor bottle for which I can get 20 cents. For the second day in a row I found enough cans and bottles to end up going to the beer store.

I already have $7.81in my change jar, most of it is what I got from the empty cans and bottles. At this rate it won't take long before the jar's filled up.

collecting change

2011-09-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

I used old Christmas paper to wrap the jar that I use to keep my change in. That way I won't be able to see how much I have till the jar is full and be less likely to spend the money. Hopefully, by the time I fill up the jar, I'll be able to use up all the coin rolls that I got from the bank.

Till then I'll continue collecting any empty beer cans or bottles that I come across. 10cents per can/bott;e may not seem like much but, over time, it really adds up.

Can collecting

2011-09-09T08:39:00.000-07:00

It's a good thing that I went to the interview yesterday. If I do end up getting the position, I'll only be working part time at the beginning. From what I've been told I'll be earning just under $15 an hour.

Even if I do get the job, I'll still continue collecting empty beer cans and bottles till I get something that's full time. This morning I stopped by the bank to see if I could get any empty rolls. I was fortunate to get enough rolls to add up to $75.50. Once I use up all of them, I'll go to the bank again to exchange the rolls for bills and to get some more empty rolls.

Soon I'll be going to the beer store to get a refund on the epmty beer cans and bottles. I've got at least $1.20, if not more, in empty cans/bottles. I'm hoping that along the way to the beer store I'll be able to find another can or two.

Changing luck

2011-09-08T07:54:00.000-07:00

The good thing is that I've managed to find 6 empty bottles. That's an extra $0.60 to the $1.51 I've already saved. If I can find at least 4 more cans or bottles by the end of tomorrow, I'll definitely go to the beer store on Friday for a refund.

Before I leave for my interview I'll grab to plasic bags just in case I find more than 5 empty cans/bottles. If that happens then I'm going to the beer store tomorrow. I can only hope that my parents don't find the place where I'm keeping all the empty beer cans/bottles before I go to the store for the refund.

I really hope that I end up getting the job that I'm going to be interviewed for today. That way I won't have to worry about having to keep on looking for empty beer cans/bottles.

Unlucky

2011-09-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I found an envelope with close to $300 in it. Since then the most I ever found was $20. Now all I manage to find are pennies. This is why I'm going to start collecting empty beer cans and bottles. At 10 cents per can/bottle, I'll be able to save up some money faster. At least till I finally manage to find a job. I'll be amazed if I find more than a dollar.

extra cash

2011-09-06T06:04:00.000-07:00

Till I finally find a job I have to find way to earn some money. The first thing that comes to mind is collecting empty beer cans and bottles which I can then take to the nearby beer store. At $0.10 per can/bottle, that can really add up. From now on whenever I leave the house I'll make sure to grab an empty plastic bag. That way I'll have something to put the empty beer cans in. During the week is the best time for me to get out of the house for a while.